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60 Funny Best Friend Quotes to Share with Your Bestie

Your best friends are the ones who stay with you through all the good and bad times in your life. They’re with you to celebrate the happy moments and support you during tough times. Having a best friend can help prevent loneliness and isolation while increasing your sense of purpose and belonging.  

In this article, we’ve put together a list of 60 funny best friend quotes to share with your best friends and show them how much you appreciate them.  

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“We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up after I finish laughing.”  


“The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you.” 

Rita Mae Brown 

“My friends and I are crazy. That’s the only thing that keeps us sane.”

Matt Schucker

“A good friend will always stab you in the front.” 

Oscar Wilde

“Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard.”


“There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.”

Sylvia Plath 

“A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.”

Erma Bombeck

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.” 

Bernard Meltzer

“Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness and shenanigans.”  


“Most of us don’t need a psychiatric therapist as much as a friend to be silly with.”

Robert Brault 

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell you see, I have friends in both places.”  

Mark Twain

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”  

Oprah Winfrey

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”  

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”  

C.S. Lewis

“We’ve been friends for so long I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”


“True friendship is when you walk into their house and your WiFi connects automatically.“


“A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.” 

Jim Hayes

“Friends make you smile best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.”

Terri Guillemets 

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it’s a friend with chocolate.”  

Linda Grayson

“If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.”  

Oprah Winfrey

“The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.”  

Mark Twain

“Knowledge cannot replace friendship. I’d rather be an idiot than lose you.”  

Patrick Star

“Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.“

Friedrich Nietzsche

“It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.”  

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I’ll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends and my friends are hilarious.”  

Issa Rae

“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”

Elizabeth Taylor 

“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, damn, that was fun.”

Groucho Marx

“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.”

Woodrow T. Wilson 

“Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.”

Greg Tamblyn

“A good friend is a connection to life a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.“  

Lois Wyse

“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” 

Sicilian Proverb

“Nothing is more dangerous than a friend without discretion; even a prudent enemy is preferable.”  

Jean de La Fontaine

“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.”  

George Carlin

“Only a true best friend can protect you from your immortal enemies.”  

Richelle Mead

“Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.”  


“We’ll be best friends forever because you already know too much.”  


Having those weird conversations with your friend and thinking “if anyone heard us, we’d be put in a mental hospital.” 


“Friendship is being there when someone’s feeling low and not being afraid to kick them.” 

Randy K. Milholland

“Best friends don’t care if your house is clean. They care if you have wine.”  


“Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend.”  

Bill Watterson

“Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.”  


“True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people together.” 

Emilie Saint Genis

“Best friend isn’t a person; it’s a tier.” 

Mindy Kaling 

“Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them.”

Candlelight Publications

“Best Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”  


“Best friends don’t necessarily have to talk every day. They don’t even need to talk for weeks. But when they do, it’s like they never stopped talking.“  


“A true friend doesn’t have guts; they beat you up and later plead with you to beat them back.”  

Michael Bassey Johnson

“A stranger stabs you in the front. A friend stabs you in the back. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. Best friends poke each other with straws.”  


“True friends are those who came into your life, saw the most negative part of you, but are not ready to leave you, no matter how contagious you are to them.”

Michael Bassey Johnson 

“We know our friends by their defects rather than by their merits.”

William Somerset Maugham 

“A large proportion of my best friends are a little bit crazy. I try to be cautious with my friends who are too sane.”  

Andrew Solomon

“Friends buy you a lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.”  


“If I killed somebody, I have zero doubt that if I called my best friend and was like, ’Hey grab a shovel,’ she wouldn’t even ask a question.”  

Mila Kunis

“Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.”  


“Best friend: the one you can only get mad at for a short period because you have important stuff to tell them.”  


“Good friends discuss their sex lives. Best friends talk about poop.” 


“I keep telling myself to stop talking to weirdos. Then I remember I wouldn’t have any friends left…”  


“I hope we’re friends until we die then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people.”  


“One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.”  

Marcelene Cox

“Strangers think I’m quiet my friends think I’m outgoing my best friends know that I’m completely insane.”  


Wrapping Up  

Good friends can be one of the biggest influences of joy in your life. If you enjoyed these funny best friend quotes, make sure to share them with your bestie to show them you love and appreciate them. Don’t forget to pass them around to others as well so that they can pass them on to their best friends.   

For more inspiration, check out our collection of quotes about happiness and hope.

Affiliate Disclosures

Dani Rhys
Dani Rhys

Dani Rhys has worked as a writer and editor for over 15 years. She holds a Masters degree in Linguistics and Education, and has also studied Political Science, Ancient History and Literature. She has a wide range of interests ranging from ancient cultures and mythology to Harry Potter and gardening. She works as the chief editor of Symbol Sage but also takes the time to write on topics that interest her.